It’s not often you get to ask any question – yes really anything – of one of the people you admire. But we jumped into our AMA knickers at the chance to learn more about Sarah Clayton’s secrets and passions. So, here’s our  little round of “Ask Me Anything” with Sarah Clayton . . . 

Sarah Clayton In ENCLOSED Black Lace Lingerie

Ask & Tell-All With Sarah Clayton

Q: What was your first modeling job? 

A: Modeling jackets for a local company not too far from me. The photographer was someone I happened to have a mutual friend with, and he has since become a really great friend of myself and my husband. It’s my longest relationship in this career and he’s just as sweet and charismatic as he was 10 years ago!

Q: How did you get into nude photography?  

A: My husband was subscriber of Playboy, he would tell me how awesome it would be to see me in there. Then once he came across a listing of casting calls they were having all over the country…. One of them being in Philadelphia, just a couple hours away! We took the day off, I attended, and that was my very first time ever modeling nude! I sort of jumped right into the deep end!

Q: Modeling (especially nude) must require a lot of confidence! What are some tips you use to keep up your confidence for a shoot?  

A: I really try to watch what I’m eating for the most part. (Please do not take this as a signal that I do not eat. Quite the contrary!) Fortunately, I love vegetables, so they’re a mainstay at every meal. I try to eat grass-fed meat as often as I can afford, and really stay away from processed foods. Otherwise, I try to do weight training and yoga throughout the week. Other than that, it’s all about positioning! (That alone takes a while to figure out!). Being confident, for me, is showing up knowing that I am physically looking as well as I can, and also feeling good. 

Q: What’s the wildest thing you’ve done for a photo shoot?

A: I honestly can’t really think anything that outlandish. For some reason the ones that really stick out are the ones where I was freezing, either in snow or a waterfall; or somewhere really dirty like an abandoned school filled with bird poop, or high in the rafters of an old barn.

Oh! Then there’s the few times I’ve almost been caught nude out in public! They are always abandoned places, but sometimes there just happens to be a hiking path nearby…. Whoops! 

Q: We know you have a great deal of followers from the Lifestyle community. How did you get started with them?

A: My husband and I vacationed to a topless resort in Mexico, Temptation. We eventually became friends with the entertainment manager, who suggested we would be suited for a new resort the company was opening up, Desire Pearl. (The Desire resorts and Temptation are both owned by Original Resorts.) This was 7 years ago when the property was first opened, and we loved the idea of being able to be nude vs topless! We have made wonderful relationships and lifelong friends with the staff and management at both Desire Resorts, as well as several of the guests that we have continued to see trip after trip!

Q: So is this how you got involved with Desire Resorts? 

We started working with them 7 years ago, and it’s been a wonderful relationship since! I’ve done marketing for them on social media and have recently started doing Live broadcast sessions on Desire Facebook Page, answering questions about the resort for those who are curious about it. I’ve also originated and admin a secret Facebook Group for women-only who have either been to, or are curious about Desire, called “Ladies Love Desire.”

Q: Do you partake in the Lifestyle yourself? If so, any tips for people exploring?  

I’ll leave the first part of the question up to the imagination, it would be unfair of me to respond for both of us. The couples that I see with the most success in the lifestyle are always communicating with each other, and consistently put their relationship and their partner’s feelings first. 

Q: What is your favorite place you’ve been on vacation and why?  

A: Mexico! The Mexican hospitality is bar-none and cannot be beat. No matter what resort we have stayed at, the service was impeccable, and the atmosphere has always been very welcoming.

Q: What is your idea of a romantic gesture?

A: Honestly, I love when my husband anticipates my need for something, even before I realize I need it. That just speaks volumes to me about how in tune he is with me. No dinner or gift could ever top that.

Q: What do you love about Enclosed? 

A: The presentation! Not only is it luxurious to receive a well-made, beautiful designer lingerie item, but the deep purple box with wax seal and rose petals just takes it to the next level! 

Editor’s note: You can also sign-up to win a box of lingerie for compliments of Sarah Clayton. Sign up to win free lingerie . . . 

Q: What’s your guilty pleasure? Or do you have more than one?

A: Really dark chocolate! I’m snacking on some 85% right now!

And watching shows on apps on my phone. I’m constantly walking around the house watching shows on my phone!

Q: You said anything. Us ladies want to know: wax, shave, laser or what combination thereof? 

A: Groupon lead me to do lasering of the lady parts with a deal I couldn’t walk away from! (It’s really working well!)

Otherwise everything is shaved.

Q: Your fans come from all over the globe and are quite diverse. What percent are men vs. women vs. couples? And how are they different? 

A: I believe most fans are men, followed by couples (!) then women. I am the most flattered by the couples that are fans and that follow me, because I feel I can identify with them closely. My husband and I are always showing each other amazing women on our social media platforms, etc. 

Q: What are your favorite podcasts to listen to? 

A: Oh boy. Ready?
Some Lifestyle Podcasts:

Room 77 – Couple together 16 yrs. Really funny, really loose, and they are crazy for each other.

Swinger Diaries -High school sweethearts! Married 20+ yrs. I love their forum because they pose questions at  end of each episode that are answered by them and their listeners on the next episode! They’re really well organized, too. They have different “Books” which are 35 episodes each.

Normalizing Non-monogamy -I met this couple at Desire, we just happened to be sitting next to them at the pool! They are really cute, really sweet, and their podcast interviews a ton of different perspectives in the LS.

Some Non-Lifestyle Podcasts:

Stuff You Should Know– This is by far my favorite podcast. I’ll drop everything else I’m listening to whenever their feed is updated. It’s one of the original pioneer podcasts, and they cover everything.

HappyFace– This is a sad one, but it’s about the daughter of the Happy Face Killer, a serial killer that was active in the 90s – and his effect on her life, as well as her mother’s life.

Family Secrets– Dani Shapiro is an author who on a whim, did an online DNA profile and was stunned to learn her father was not her biological father. She interviews many other adults who had learned that their identities were not what they were raised to think. It’s fascinating! 

Q: We know your husband is a photographer – responsible for many of the amazing images of you – what’s his favorite photo of you? 

A: This photo was a light test while I was helping him with a photoshoot, I was just standing in place helping him get the lighting right! We had just celebrated out 10-year anniversary a month or two prior. He had this made into a large metal print that he has hanging in our office, and this is also his lock screen on his phone 🙂

Q: How long have you been married? What are some things you and your husband do to keep things fun and interesting? 

A: 12 years!! The time has flown. We love to take a day or two and go into NYC in the middle of the week, late in the summer. We will walk for hours, put on 15 miles a day and just explore. He will take awesome photos that I drool over and that I beg to have made into art for our home. We also take time to just do little dates every week. $5 movie night is my favorite!

Q: What’s your favorite thing to do on date night? 

A: If it’s a big date night, I dress up really sexy, super high heels, short skirt, the whole 9! Then we go out to a late dinner and soak each other up. Usually he will then try to find the recipe of a mixed drink that I fell in love with so that he can make it for me at home. He’s become quite the home bartender!

Q: Why is Iggy (your dog) named Iggy?

A: He is now 13 and when he became our pup we were huge Sixers fans. Andre Igoudala (2015 NBA Finals MVP with Golden State) was in his sophomore year in the league in 2005 and was a star player for the Sixers. His nickname with some of his teammates was “Iggy” and we thought that sounded like a really cute name for a really cute puppy! 

Q: Thongs vs. gstrings vs. cheeky boyshorts. Go.

A: Thongs all the time when wearing pants outside of home. But I wear boyshorts a lot around the house during the summer because they’re so comfy! 

About Sarah Clayton

Sarah Clayton is a professional model based out of northeastern PA. Her work has been featured in Playboy, Maxim, Men’s Health, QVC and various other magazines, clothing, and advertisement companies. Sarah Clayton is not only a stupendous model, but also a long-time customer and lover of [ENCLOSED]’s unforgettable monthly lingerie gifts.

Learn more . . .

Care to stay in the loop as we continue this series of fun AMAs and articles? And get access to insider deals and offers for luxurious lingerie gifts?  Sign up for our Knickergram newsletter . . .

Win some of Sarah’s favorite lingerie

You can also sign-up to win a box of lingerie for your or your loved one compliments of Sarah Clayton. Sign up to win free lingerie . . . 

What’s your question for Sarah?

By the time you read this AMA (As Me Anything), Emma & Fin have interviewed 64+ non-monogamous couples who tell their stories of swinging, polyamory, and non-monogamy in all it’s ups and downs. Their podcast Normalizing Non-Monogamy not only provides a learning experience, but some much needed comedic relief as well. With all the interviews they have done we thought it only right to flip the script and interview the masterminds themselves! So without further ado . . . 

Q: First things first, how did the two of you meet? And how long have you been married?

Emma: We originally met in seventh grade where my family moved to the same town where Fin grew up. We were best friends in high school and started dating in college (although we secretly had crushes on each other in high school). We’ve been married seven years this summer.

Fin: In 7th grade Emma moved to the town where I lived. We met in advanced algebra (not to brag) and from that point on she was basically infatuated with me even though it took her a few years to realize it. Over the next 4-5 years we became best friends and ended up going to the same university for engineering and started dating part way through our first year. We got married a few years after we graduated and have been married seven years this summer.

Q: How did you start your non-monogamous journey, or how did you know it was right for you?

Emma & Fin: During our second year of university we both decided to study abroad. Even though we both chose Australia, early on we felt it was important to make decisions for ourselves and so we chose our schools independently. Luckily, we chose the same school which turned out to be amazing since we got to travel together.

Neither of us had a ton of dating or sexual experience outside of each other and one other relationship. We felt like that was something we should both be able to explore since we were so young, but neither of us really wanted to break up since we were happy together and loved having adventures together. Fin did some research and found that there was a [swinger, lifestyle or non monogamous] house party about an hour from where we lived and we decided to go. It was supposed to just be a meet and greet but it was basically an orgy between a ton of people who already knew each other. We hung out downstairs with the three other new couples and chatted. We walked around a bit to see what it was all about and had a little fun together but it was mostly an experience of just seeing what it [a swing party] was like.

Q: Would you consider yourselves Swingers? Or how do you best identify?

Emma: We identify as being in an open relationship or ethically non-monogamous. In practice, this mostly looks like traditional swinging for us at the moment, but we are open to other experiences as well. We are open to all kinds of relationship styles in the future and want to continue to meet and have amazing people be part of our lives.

Fin: We did for years because we didn’t really have a better way to describe what we were doing. A lot of people in the swinging world are afraid to use the word “poly” which isn’t the case for us, it just didn’t fit as a label on what we were doing. More recently we’ve decided a more fitting term is just to say we’re “open.” Basically, we’re open to whatever comes our way. We aren’t looking for anything specific other than awesome friends who are open-minded. If that turns into something more it’s fine with us but we haven’t set it as a goal.

Q: Are there any misconceptions about Swinging you want to clear up?

Emma: The majority of people we have met who are in a non-monogamous relationship are in it to enhance their relationship, not take away from it. They want to share these experiences with their partner and make their bond stronger while meeting and having experiences with other people. It sounds a little crazy but sharing your partner can make the connection between you two even deeper.

Fin: That all we do is have sex all day long with everyone we meet. It’s really only about half the day with 30% of the people. [This is a joke, people!]

Q: How has non-monogamy helped your marriage? Are there benefits you experience that you think you wouldn’t have if you were monogamous?

Emma: Being non-monogamous from very early on in our relationship has allowed us to communicate about everything from the beginning. Nothing is off the table and I believe this is a huge benefit to our relationship. We also have many amazing friends that I know we wouldn’t have if we were monogamous. We love meeting like-minded people and feel so comfortable with these friends.

Fin: It’s cliche but true… We can talk about everything and anything. It’s not always easy, but we can have conversations that a lot people can’t even fathom. We’ve also seen some wild and crazy shit so it’s kind of a fun joke between us when people we meet are like “I have a crazy story to tell you…” and then it’s really not crazy compared to some of the stuff we’ve seen. It’s always been this secret between us that we can laugh about to each other.

Q: We all know relationships are not always rainbows and butterflies, has there ever been a time where you thought non-monogamy was a mistake? how did you get through it?

Emma: I never thought non-monogamy was a mistake. There have been times in our lives that we have closed off our relationship and taken a break, mostly because something else is going on that was the priority. It has not always been easy, but both of us feel like our lives would not be complete if we were monogamous and neither of us wants that for the other person. So if we have to close off our relationship for a bit that’s ok, but we always circle back and figure out how to open it up again when the time is right.

Fin: I don’t think there has been a time where we thought it [swinging/ the open relationship] was a mistake. For us, it’s never been our entire life and so if life gets crazy we just put it on the backburner. We’ve gone months or years at a time without doing anything in the non-monogamy space. When life settles down, we ramp it back up. For us, it’s been important to keep it fluid and let it come and go as needed. We aren’t always on the same page in terms of interest level at any given time but that’s natural just like as in any aspect of life.

Emma (left) and Fin (right) prefer to remain anonymous.

Q: It’s amazing that the two of you have such a long history with each other through this journey, but do you have any advice for those who may be exploring non-monogamy on their own?

Emma: Be patient. Non-monogamy will not work if only one person in a couple wants to do it. It can take lots of conversations and education (books, podcasts, talking to like minded people, etc.) to be on the same page as your partner. Don’t be afraid to have those conversations and be patient.

Fin: I think there is still a lot of slut-shaming around people who are exploring non-monogamy. I think it’s probably even more prevalent if you’re doing it by yourself and people just assume your goal is to have as much sex as you can (which is a valid goal by the way). It’s important to remember there is an ethical way to do it and there are a lot of people who probably won’t get it, but as long as you’re doing it in a respectful way, there’s nothing wrong with it. On the flip-side, there are some amazingly supportive [swinger, poly and/or non-monogamous] communities out there and when you find them it can change your life. Don’t let it get you down if it takes a while to find your groove and don’t be afraid to change grooves and explore new ones.

Q: What inspired you to start the podcast – was there an ‘AHA’ moment?

Emma & Fin: There are too many reasons to list and this answer could get super long so we will keep it brief. We love helping people, meeting people, and hearing their life stories. We also knew that many of the things we learned over our 10+ years exploring non-monogamy came from conversations with other people. We’d pick up tidbits from everyone we met and we figured if we could share as many stories as possible that we could help expedite the learning process for others who are on the same journey. We’d also love to see non-monogamy become more mainstream. We realize it’s not for everyone but we would safely bet that there isn’t a single person who doesn’t have a friend or two who has explored it in some fashion, whether they know it or not. It’s far more common than people think and we’re on a mission to prove it. We also love destroying stereotypes and giving a voice to people who don’t have a platform. The more stories we can tell, the more people we can help!

Q: What is one of the most surprising or shocking things you’ve discovered since starting your podcast?

Emma: There are so many incredible people out there in non-monogamous relationships! We always knew this, but it has been reinforced as we have met and had conversations with people. We feel like we have a responsibility to get anyone’s story out there that wants to share it.

Fin: Probably people’s willingness and eagerness to share their stories. We hoped it would be the case when we started but we didn’t know for sure. Within a few weeks of starting the show we already had people reaching out to share their stories. It’s been amazing and we have met some incredible friends.

Q: You just recently released episode 61 – wow! How has the response been so far?

Emma & Fin: Meh. It’s been alright. 🙂 It’s really been one of the most amazing things we’ve ever done. The people who have reached out to help us or share their stories, whether it’s on the podcast or behind the scenes in an email, have been incredible. It’s rare when you have a vision and it goes better than you could have ever dreamed.

Q: We know it’s like asking you to choose between your children, but do you have a favorite interview or episode you’ve done?

Emma: All of them have been incredible, however, I distinctly remember that after we finished the interview with Christopher Smith (episode 48), I looked at Fin and said “I just want to shout this from the mountains”. We are both inspired by everyone we talk to and can’t wait to share the stories with as many people as we can. We feel like there is so much for everyone to learn by listening to all these stories from a relationship aspect in general, whether you’re monogamous or non-monogamous.

Fin: I do love them all and I don’t want to discourage anyone from reaching out. I will say that I love any story that helps destroy a stereotype or preconceived idea. Those are the ones that force people to stop and think for a second rather than just nodding along. We have a few where people have gotten into non-monogamy because of an affair. To me, it’s amazing when a couple can harness what most people consider a relationship ending offense and turn it into a positive.

Q: How do you balance marriage and a podcast together?

Emma: We do the podcast together and it has been an amazing journey. I do not feel like the podcast has taken anything away from our marriage, instead it has enhanced it. We’re learning how to work together on a big project that we both care a lot about. It’s been a fun adventure!

Fin: It has really made our relationship stronger. We get to sit down together a few times per week and have amazing conversations with open-minded people who open our minds further and push our boundaries…

Q: You have been together quite some time, what are some ways you keep the spark?

Emma: Adventure. We view life as one big adventure and non-monogamy is a part of it. We both have a deep love for each other but also sharing and having experiences with other people adds to our relationship and keeps us closer than I think we would be otherwise.

Fin: Push your partner outside of their comfort zone in all aspects of life. That’s where the growth and sparks happen.

Q:We have to ask, what do you wear when getting frisky? What are some of your favorite things to wear (or see another person wear) to spice it up?

Emma: My favorite thing to wear when getting frisky is sexy underwear – usually some sort of lacey boyshorts or thong which I know Fin likes. It’s also fun to get more dressed up  with additional lingerie to spice it up (some of my favorites are fishnet stockings and heels). On a guy I love seeing a sexy pair of boxer briefs and a form fitting T-shirt.

Fin: Definitely merino wool socks. I don’t like it when my feet are cold. Usually brown so they aren’t obnoxious. I’ll also usually wear a pair of nice boxer briefs to draw their eyes off my socks. What’s sexy to see a lady wear? For me, I am a fan of anything form fitting and probably solid-ish colors. I am a pretty boring person when it comes to these things but I like the person to be comfortable and feel sexy. I’m also not that picky if a woman decides she wants to be in her underwear around me, I usually don’t complain.

About Normalizing Non-Monogamy Podcast

Every week, Emma & Fin interview exciting and incredible people from all across the non-monogamy spectrum. They talk with people in the swinging and polyamorous communities who are straight, gay, bisexual, trans, and everywhere in between. Hear all the dirty secrets, salacious stories, and unique strategies from swingers to poly folks – it’s quite the learning experience! Whether you are just beginning to explore or are a seasoned vet their interviews are a valuable resource. So, tune into the Normalizing Non-monogamy Podcast for a laugh and maybe you’ll even learn something!

Want to share your story?

Emma & Fin are actively seeking non-monogamous people and couples to interview for their podcast. If you are a swinger, polyamorous, or in another other form of non-monogamous relationship we encourage you to share your story. You can contact Emma & Fin through their website here.

Learn more . . .

Care to stay in the loop as we continue this series of fun AMAs and sex-positive articles? And get access to insider deals and offers for luxurious lingerie gifts?  Sign up for our Knickergram newsletter . . .

Have questions for Emma or Fin?