Orange is the New Black's ULTIMATE PANTY Quotes

Panties, Panties, Panties

[Enclosed] loves panties. Orange is the New Black has a storyline about panties. Naturally, [Enclosed] loves Orange is the New Black.

We all know that for the past two seasons of Orange is the New Black, Piper’s illegal panty business has been smuggling inmates’ used panties out of Litchfield Penitentiary and into the black market. If you haven’t watched the series yet, (woops!) major spoiler alert! In Season 3, Whispers, an intimate apparel company, employs Piper and several other inmates to make lingerie for their company within the prison. Piper eventually develops the idea for fellow inmates to wear stolen underwear from Whispers and sell them online for cash. The drama surrounding her panty escapades gets even in juicier Season 4 when other inmates start their own illegal panty business…

Of course, [Enclosed] being a panty business itself, just HAD to do a post dedicated to all things panties in Orange is the New Black. After all, all panties are panties–illegal, smuggled, stolen.. or NOT.

The ultimate list of all PANTY quotes in Seasons 3 & 4 of OITNB

Test yourself to see how well you know these quotes (Who, what, when, where, why?!) Also… in no particular order–since all panties are created equal.

Today’d panty smuggler, tomorrow’s Fortune 500. Sisters are doing it for themselves.
We have captive women, and we have underwear.
You jacked my panties, I jack your girls.
Anyway I thought you should know, I saw your friend stealing scraps of panties.
Somebody’s getting a little big for her panties, I think.
Like, first, we was chosen by little white dude with the sneakers to sew panties for Whispers.
I need your panties. What?
Bitch, you never left the Bush era, judging by all that creeping from your panties.
That’s true. How much we ever gonna make off panties?
You’re telling me that somebody’s making money off of dirty panties?
I mean, ever since the panties dried up, we were… we were in real trouble, but babies bring luck and inspiration.
I can’t walk around in my butt-bag panties and my granny bra.
You see that? We making panties?
Some of us girls have also been noticing panties. Why don’t you just, uh, leave the strip-searching up to us? Not the regular panties. The fancy ones from the sewing job. Slutty panties. Well, I think they’re pretty. Shouldn’t we be focusing on gang activity? Girls wearing panties sounds pretty harmless to me.
Don’t you think the people buying these panties will feel weird if they knew a bunch of felons made them?
This is how we get the girls to wear the panties.
So, you tell me how this is gonna work. “Hi, Gerber, how do you feel about marching past security with a bunch of dirty panties shoved down your pants”
You can buy dirty schoolgirl panties for, like, I don’t know, 10,000 yen.
Neri is selling extra panties on the side.
What you care about is that you’re illegally smuggling women’s panties out of a women’s prison.
We’re selling crusty jail panties to perverts.
Neri’s knock-off prison panties aren’t the problem.
Forty-two pairs of beautiful, sweaty panties, painstakingly crafted over days at a time, and they don’t even make a dent in the orders.
You get to make your meals partially-edible and wear panties that make your butts happy.
Those saggy prison panties been depressing my cheeks.
What the f*ck are you talking about? I need your panties. What? Well, I will give you the panties, but I need you to wear them. I need your vag sweat. And maybe some, um, colorless discharge. I’m starting a business selling stinky panties to perverts.
Wait, this is genius. What if the panties were flavored? Like, this girl only ate strawberries for a week.
Those saggy prison panties been depressing my cheeks.
Anyways, moving on, people are already asking for some very weird stuff… Huh. Like murder panties.
And are those same men that would shame me not the same men that would wear my panties on their faces, inhaling deeply?”
For when these men smell your panties, they are smelling your character
Sisters, we may be incarcerated, but our panties will travel the world.