Best New SF Shopping District: The Dogpatch

For Gifts, Clothing or Just Walking Around, SF’s Dogpatch Is The New Place To Shop

Let’s just say it. San Francisco is not a shopping city. It’s got great food, wonderful outdoors, but it’s no shopping mecca. But San Francisco’s Dogpatch neighborhood is the new shopping gem of the Bay Area. The following is round up of the shops of Dogpatch.

And no, we haven’t included the food. Ah, the wonderful food of Dogpatch. But that we will save for another blog post.

b8ta: Touch The Tech Of Tomorow

1699 3rd St, San Francisco, CA 94158
www.b8ta.com
b8ta callse themselves a “software-powered retailer creating interactive shopping experiences that are mutually beneficial for consumers and makers”. It looks like a Apple store, but what does that mean? Well, you can go in and try out the products – everything from ebikes to robots and other cool stuff. And it’s so new there isn’t even a yelp review. (I’ll update when I’ve dropped in this pod-like commercial enterprise.)

B8ta tech shopping in dogpatch

Bryr Clogs: Custom Trendy Delicious Footwear

2331 Third St. b/t 22nd St & 20th St., Dogpatch
www.bryrstudio.com
Clogs are hot right now. And Bryr is one of two brands that have hit every fashion blog. Every pair of Bryr clogs are hand-made by Isobel Schofield and her small team in their combined store workshop which opens right onto Dogpatch’s Third street. People are obsessed with these clogs. Seriously. Their annual sample sales generate lines around, and around the block.
Although the prices aren’t cheap, I love that their clogs are made to order by hand in their SF studio by a crew of women! How amazing it that?
E Z.’s Review of Dogpatch’s Bryr on Yelp

Bryr Clogs shopping SF's Dogpatch

Cup Of Ceremony: An Experiential Candle Voyage

797 22nd St., San Francisco, CA 94107
www.cupofceremony.com

Inspired by the Japanese tea ceremony, Cup of Ceremony is an experimental, sensory voyage through scent, taste, sight and touch using custom candle creation as the means of transport.  Now, is this shopping? We are not sure. We just know it is in Dogpatch and we want to do it.

They sell artisan hand poured candles in a beautiful cement base. The scents are sophisticated, clean and luxurious. The products fit right in to the beautiful interior.
Daniel K.’s Review of Dogpatch store Cup of Ceremony on Yelp

cup of ceremony candle from dogpatch sf

The Daily Driver’s Corner Store

2535 3rd Street, right in the Dogpatch
www.dailydriver.com

Plunge into the cavernous, stylish new bagel place and there on one side you’ll find what they are calling a “corner store”. Part cookware, part gifts, part whimsy, we like where this is headed.

daily driver corner store in dogpatch

Dependable Letterpress: Dogpatch’s Own Custom Printing

1192 Illinois St, San Francisco, CA 94107
www.dependableletterpress.com
Dependable is nice, but sounds rather boring, doesn’t it? The artistic, quality output of this place is really far more than dependable. Using vintage presses and experienced craftspeople, this letterpress is worth a visit even if you aren’t going to have exquisite cards, invitations, stationery, art, wine labels, books, or whatever made just-for-you.

While Dependable Letterpress is primarily a place for getting custom orders of stationery, business cards and wedding invitations printed, they have a selection of in-house-printed paper goods such as greeting cards, gift tags, notepads and posters and prints. They’re always happy to show visitors the process of printing with vintage presses.

“The quality is the best in SF.” (Nuf, said, right?)
Olivia W. Review of Dogpatch store Dependable Letterpress on Yelp

dependable letterpress shop in dogpatch

[ENCLOSED]: SF’s Largest Lingerie Store Offering High-End Custom Lingerie Services

435 23 Street, Suite 17, San Francisco, CA 94107, off Illinois Street in Dogpatch
www.TheEnclosed.com
When you first walk into the “Storage” building you are 100% sure you are in the wrong place. But go upstairs, find suite 17 and reveal one of the Bay Area’s true treasures; a veritable warehouse of  ultra-high-end designer lingerie offerings. While the “knicker ladies” encourage you to set up an appointment in advance so they can cater to your specific lingerie needs, they do take drop-ins.

Call to make an appointment: 1.800.653.2970 (M-F, 9 AM – 5 PM Pacific)

Note bene; gentlemen as well as ladies are most welcome as Enclosed focuses on lingerie as a gift, so anyone may avail themselves of the services that this incredible lingerie mecca offers.

Thoughtful, beautifully packaged romantic gifts are far and few between. enclosed is the real deal. my wife loves everything they curate and and the packaging is perfect. it doesn’t hurt that i happen to like the gifts too!
Jascha K. Review of Dogpatch store Enclosed on Yelp

lignerie gifts from Enclosed in SF dogpatch

Hugomento: Zen Selection Of Art & Objects

807 22nd St, San Francisco, CA 94107
www.hugomento.com
Part gallery, part shop, part just lovely space to see, Hugomento offers a small, exquisitely presented range of objects in a tiny zen space. While the offerings change, the focus is on pottery and textiles. The style is a contemporary interpretation of traditional Asian aesthetics and forms.

dogpatch's hugomento pottery

Industrious Life: Curated, Quality Gifts

1095 Tennessee St, San Francisco, CA 94107
www.industriouslife.com
The perfect store for anyone who hates Hallmark. (Dear reader, I hope you are one of us.) Featuring contemporary and vintage design with items from Blabla dolls (freakishly lovely and adored by kids) to carefully curated jewelry, Industrious Life is a pleasure to peruse. I would travel across the city to shop here, but luckily, I live in Dogpatch so don’t have to. Patti and Patti, the owners, are lovely and ever-helpful without ever pressuring one to buy. (That said, I honestly get the two women confused. Go figure.)
Great funky local shop. I stop in frequently as the goods are always changing. They carry a well-curated mix of new, local, and vintage items.  . . . the quality of everything is excellent.
N B. Review of Dogpatch store Industrious Life on Yelp

dogpatch shopping at industrious life

M A C Modern Appealing Clothing

2331 Third St. b/t 22nd St & 20th St., Dogpatch
www.macmodernappealingclothing.com
I have a hard time writing about this quirky Dogpatch shop as I think I’m not cool enough to really understand it. Beautiful design? Doubtless. Elegant apparel? Clearly. Who shops here? Perhaps David Byrne.

Goop (yes, that Goop) writes, “Focusing primarily on Belgian and Japanese designers (Engineered Garments, Dries Van Noten, Comme des Garçons), the long-standing MAC is one of the city’s primary destinations for edgier labels.” I’ll let their website further explain, “Handsome clothing from far and near , including the new Ted Muehling jeweley collection.” Hm.

M A C Modern Appealing Clothing_mac

Mid-Century Modern Finds: Treasures For The Home

435 23rd Street (By Appointment Only)
www.midcenturymodernfinds.com
Christine and Carlos Villalta started Mid-Century Modern Finds ten years ago, focusing on finding and restoring vintage furniture, lighting, art, and accessories. I’ve gotten a chance to see their warehouse so know they have an amazing eye for design. Their space is filled with outstanding, beautiful usable home goods most of which you can find on their website, or make an appointment to see the home goods IRL.
Christine and Carlos are great curators of furniture from designers like Wegner, Baughman, and Pearsall, just to name a few. . . . They are super cool.
Brando P. via Yelp

MidCentury Modern Finds dogpatch shop

Museum of Craft and Design Store: Sweet Design-Forward Awesomeness In the Dogpatch

2569 Third Street, San Francisco, CA 94107
https://shop.sfmcd.org/
There’s a museum in the Dogpatch? With an really excellent store? Yes and yes. Featuring design-centric books, jewelry, home goods and more, this is really a perfect place to shop for your design-snobby* friends and family. This Christmas I’ll be buying the adorable Wooden Rabbit Stacker Toy for all the tots on my list.

* And design-snobby, is not a bad thing. Own it.

Note, you can visit our store without purchasing an admission ticket to the museum. But why would you? The museum is awesome too.Museum of Craft and Design Store

Rickshaw Bagworks: Fresh Bags Made Daily

904 22nd St, San Francisco, CA 94107 Dogpatch
www.rickshawbags.com
While the Rickshaw store is actually formally closed, I’m including it in this roundup as I really love the place. I first learned of their awesome home-grown product when my then employer, Turo, got each of us individualized bags. My pink and beige messenger has been a favorite ever since.

Nothing against Timbuk2 and Chrome messengers, but with Rickshaw, I get a little added fuzz factor in my heart knowing that I’m supporting a local SF business. Great company, good service. Love my bag. Check ’em out!”
Deanna Y. on Dogpatch’s Rickshaw Bags via Yelp

rickshaw bag works freshbags-sewing

Stashed SF: The Dogpatch Source For Hip Clothing

2360 3rd St, San Francisco, CA 94107
www.stashedsf.com
Before Stashed SF came to the Dogpatch ‘hood I thought that stores like this only existed in New York. My first glimmer of this cool new destination came when I saw a line all the way down third at 8 AM. It was all the more legit-than-hipster folks waiting for a shoe drop.

Stashed stocks sneakers and apparel, but it really is an experience therefore worth dropping buy even if you aren’t in then market for kicks. This place makes fashion-backwards SF look good.

“I was able to do more shopping here in 1 hour than a week in Tokyo.”
Kevin G. on the Dogpatch store, Stashed, via Yelp

Stashed_sf store dogpach shopping

Triple Aught Design: Hardcore Gear Awaits

660 22nd St, San Francisco, CA 94107
www.tripleaughtdesign.com
When I first found Triple Aught the gear is so good looking I thought it was a shop for form-over-function driven faux outdoors people. But I was wrong. (Can you imagine that?) The goods here are super-functional, field-tested AND good looking.

Heads-up for the females; while I’m happy to report the store now offers a line of women’s wear, the store itself is pretty testosterone saturated, so may feel intimidating to women. But lean-in and go. I know you can do it.

“This location in Dogpatch feels very appropriate to the brand, the selection is good– they definitely hold back some gear from online for the store itself.”
Brian W. about Dogpatch store Triple Aught Design on Yelp

Triple Aught Design shopping dogpatch

Tina Frey Designs: Sublime Resin Household Objects

1485 Bancroft Avenue, San Francisco, CA 94124 USA
www.tinafreydesigns.com
There is something uber-satisfying about resin. Couple that juicy tactile feel with the organic shapes of Tina Frey’s work and you have something really special. Minimalist and elegant, these simple household objects are sublime gifts for anyone with any sense, or your sweet self.

I personally want something from her “lapin collection” for jack-rabbit obsessed self. Let’s see who reads this and thinks of me this Christmas.

Tina Frey Designs in dogpatch

Velocipede: Dogpatch’s Own-Possibly SF’s Best-Bike Store

2405 3rd St, San Francisco, CA 94107
www.velocipedecyclery.com

Velocipede is legit. The real deal. Real bikers selling goods they believe in. Fred and the team genuinely want to help you whether it is getting a new ride for your tween or upgrading your road kit. They have a full range of products and services from electric bikes to repairs on your fixie.

“Absolutely the best, and still most organic homegrown shop there is. These guys know their stuff, for real. Don’t waste your time anywhere else.”

Casey F. via Yelp

dogpatch velocipede bike shop

Warriors Shop: Golden State Merch Mecca

660 22nd St, San Francisco, CA 94107
www.shop.warriors.com
One of these things is not like the others, right? Well, if you are looking for mass-market branded apparel, the Warriors shop at Chase Center is where it’s at. Not exactly bespoke or artisan, but certainly will draw the crowds to the Dogpach.

Oh, and the indoor ramps all over the store are super-fun if you are say, two years old and want to ride your Skuut bike throughout.

warriors shop at chase center in dogpatch

The Wine House

829 26 street. Yes, in the Dogpatch.
www.winesf.com
Is a wine house anything like a gingerbread house? Is it made of wine? The answer is yes. And I would like to move in. This place is the perfect destination to find your wine-loving self or friend a perfect holiday gift. While the shop started in 1977 as a French importer with a strong focus on Bordeaux, their current range is extraordinary. Their wine-of-the-month club sounds like the perfect pairing with a lingerie of-the-month club, right?

the wine house in dogpatch

Workshop Residence

797 22nd St, San Francisco, CA 94107
www.workshopresidence.com
Walk into Workshop Residence and you’ll find yourself craving things you didn’t even know existed. A handcrafted wood and powder-coated metal dustpans with a block-style hand broom for $98. Now it’s on my Christmas list. But the real pleasure of this store is just drinking in the eclectic offerings that make the phrase “curated collection” desirable rather than tiresome. Stop by this studio store often as the offerings evolve monthly.

Never before have I stumbled into a place that I felt was so in tune with what’s happening “now” in the world, in a way that nobody else has yet thought of. Like pop-up shops, indie markets, slow food, and makers/DIYers this workshop/gallery/store is on the pulse of something current.
Tracey A. via Yelp

Workshop Residence dogpach studio and store

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Add Your Two Cents About Shopping In The Dogpatch

What’s your favorite store? Have we missed a Dogpatch shopping gem? Let us know.

AMA with Model Sarah Clayton

It’s not often you get to ask any question – yes really anything – of one of the people you admire. But we jumped into our AMA knickers at the chance to learn more about Sarah Clayton’s secrets and passions. So, here’s our  little round of “Ask Me Anything” with Sarah Clayton . . . 

Sarah Clayton In ENCLOSED Black Lace Lingerie

Sarah Clayton In ENCLOSED Black Lace Lingerie

Ask & Tell-All With Sarah Clayton

Q: What was your first modeling job? 

A: Modeling jackets for a local company not too far from me. The photographer was someone I happened to have a mutual friend with, and he has since become a really great friend of myself and my husband. It’s my longest relationship in this career and he’s just as sweet and charismatic as he was 10 years ago!

Q: How did you get into nude photography?  

A: My husband was subscriber of Playboy, he would tell me how awesome it would be to see me in there. Then once he came across a listing of casting calls they were having all over the country…. One of them being in Philadelphia, just a couple hours away! We took the day off, I attended, and that was my very first time ever modeling nude! I sort of jumped right into the deep end!

sarah clayton ask me anything

Q: Modeling (especially nude) must require a lot of confidence! What are some tips you use to keep up your confidence for a shoot?  

A: I really try to watch what I’m eating for the most part. (Please do not take this as a signal that I do not eat. Quite the contrary!) Fortunately, I love vegetables, so they’re a mainstay at every meal. I try to eat grass-fed meat as often as I can afford, and really stay away from processed foods. Otherwise, I try to do weight training and yoga throughout the week. Other than that, it’s all about positioning! (That alone takes a while to figure out!). Being confident, for me, is showing up knowing that I am physically looking as well as I can, and also feeling good. 

sarah clayton modeling in a fieldQ: What’s the wildest thing you’ve done for a photo shoot?

A: I honestly can’t really think anything that outlandish. For some reason the ones that really stick out are the ones where I was freezing, either in snow or a waterfall; or somewhere really dirty like an abandoned school filled with bird poop, or high in the rafters of an old barn.

Oh! Then there’s the few times I’ve almost been caught nude out in public! They are always abandoned places, but sometimes there just happens to be a hiking path nearby…. Whoops! 

Q: We know you have a great deal of followers from the Lifestyle community. How did you get started with them?

A: My husband and I vacationed to a topless resort in Mexico, Temptation. We eventually became friends with the entertainment manager, who suggested we would be suited for a new resort the company was opening up, Desire Pearl. (The Desire resorts and Temptation are both owned by Original Resorts.) This was 7 years ago when the property was first opened, and we loved the idea of being able to be nude vs topless! We have made wonderful relationships and lifelong friends with the staff and management at both Desire Resorts, as well as several of the guests that we have continued to see trip after trip!

Q: So is this how you got involved with Desire Resorts? 

We started working with them 7 years ago, and it’s been a wonderful relationship since! I’ve done marketing for them on social media and have recently started doing Live broadcast sessions on Desire Facebook Page, answering questions about the resort for those who are curious about it. I’ve also originated and admin a secret Facebook Group for women-only who have either been to, or are curious about Desire, called “Ladies Love Desire.”

Q: Do you partake in the Lifestyle yourself? If so, any tips for people exploring?  

I’ll leave the first part of the question up to the imagination, it would be unfair of me to respond for both of us. The couples that I see with the most success in the lifestyle are always communicating with each other, and consistently put their relationship and their partner’s feelings first. 

sarah clayton lingerie photoQ: What is your favorite place you’ve been on vacation and why?  

A: Mexico! The Mexican hospitality is bar-none and cannot be beat. No matter what resort we have stayed at, the service was impeccable, and the atmosphere has always been very welcoming.

Q: What is your idea of a romantic gesture?

A: Honestly, I love when my husband anticipates my need for something, even before I realize I need it. That just speaks volumes to me about how in tune he is with me. No dinner or gift could ever top that.

Q: What do you love about Enclosed? 

A: The presentation! Not only is it luxurious to receive a well-made, beautiful designer lingerie item, but the deep purple box with wax seal and rose petals just takes it to the next level! 

Editor’s note: You can also sign-up to win a box of lingerie for compliments of Sarah Clayton. Sign up to win free lingerie . . . 

Q: What’s your guilty pleasure? Or do you have more than one?

A: Really dark chocolate! I’m snacking on some 85% right now!

And watching shows on apps on my phone. I’m constantly walking around the house watching shows on my phone!

Q: You said anything. Us ladies want to know: wax, shave, laser or what combination thereof? 

A: Groupon lead me to do lasering of the lady parts with a deal I couldn’t walk away from! (It’s really working well!)

Otherwise everything is shaved.

Q: Your fans come from all over the globe and are quite diverse. What percent are men vs. women vs. couples? And how are they different? 

A: I believe most fans are men, followed by couples (!) then women. I am the most flattered by the couples that are fans and that follow me, because I feel I can identify with them closely. My husband and I are always showing each other amazing women on our social media platforms, etc. 

Q: What are your favorite podcasts to listen to? 

A: Oh boy. Ready?
Some Lifestyle Podcasts:

Room 77 – Couple together 16 yrs. Really funny, really loose, and they are crazy for each other.

Swinger Diaries -High school sweethearts! Married 20+ yrs. I love their forum because they pose questions at  end of each episode that are answered by them and their listeners on the next episode! They’re really well organized, too. They have different “Books” which are 35 episodes each.

Normalizing Non-monogamy -I met this couple at Desire, we just happened to be sitting next to them at the pool! They are really cute, really sweet, and their podcast interviews a ton of different perspectives in the LS.

Some Non-Lifestyle Podcasts:

Stuff You Should Know– This is by far my favorite podcast. I’ll drop everything else I’m listening to whenever their feed is updated. It’s one of the original pioneer podcasts, and they cover everything.

HappyFace– This is a sad one, but it’s about the daughter of the Happy Face Killer, a serial killer that was active in the 90s – and his effect on her life, as well as her mother’s life.

Family Secrets– Dani Shapiro is an author who on a whim, did an online DNA profile and was stunned to learn her father was not her biological father. She interviews many other adults who had learned that their identities were not what they were raised to think. It’s fascinating! 

Q: We know your husband is a photographer – responsible for many of the amazing images of you – what’s his favorite photo of you? 

A: This photo was a light test while I was helping him with a photoshoot, I was just standing in place helping him get the lighting right! We had just celebrated out 10-year anniversary a month or two prior. He had this made into a large metal print that he has hanging in our office, and this is also his lock screen on his phone 🙂

sarah clayton candidQ: How long have you been married? What are some things you and your husband do to keep things fun and interesting? 

A: 12 years!! The time has flown. We love to take a day or two and go into NYC in the middle of the week, late in the summer. We will walk for hours, put on 15 miles a day and just explore. He will take awesome photos that I drool over and that I beg to have made into art for our home. We also take time to just do little dates every week. $5 movie night is my favorite!

Q: What’s your favorite thing to do on date night? 

A: If it’s a big date night, I dress up really sexy, super high heels, short skirt, the whole 9! Then we go out to a late dinner and soak each other up. Usually he will then try to find the recipe of a mixed drink that I fell in love with so that he can make it for me at home. He’s become quite the home bartender!

Q: Why is Iggy (your dog) named Iggy?

A: He is now 13 and when he became our pup we were huge Sixers fans. Andre Igoudala (2015 NBA Finals MVP with Golden State) was in his sophomore year in the league in 2005 and was a star player for the Sixers. His nickname with some of his teammates was “Iggy” and we thought that sounded like a really cute name for a really cute puppy! 

sarah clayton dog loverQ: Thongs vs. gstrings vs. cheeky boyshorts. Go.

A: Thongs all the time when wearing pants outside of home. But I wear boyshorts a lot around the house during the summer because they’re so comfy! 

About Sarah Clayton

Sarah Clayton is a professional model based out of northeastern PA. Her work has been featured in Playboy, Maxim, Men’s Health, QVC and various other magazines, clothing, and advertisement companies. Sarah Clayton is not only a stupendous model, but also a long-time customer and lover of [ENCLOSED]’s unforgettable monthly lingerie gifts.

Learn more . . .

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Win some of Sarah’s favorite lingerie

You can also sign-up to win a box of lingerie for your or your loved one compliments of Sarah Clayton. Sign up to win free lingerie . . . 

What’s your question for Sarah?

Ask her anything! (Well, within reason.) Ask away, and we’ll get the answers from the unforgettable Sarah Clatyon . . .

AMA with Normalizing Non-Monogamy Podcast Hosts, Emma & Fin

By the time you read this AMA (As Me Anything), Emma & Fin have interviewed 64+ non-monogamous couples who tell their stories of swinging, polyamory, and non-monogamy in all it’s ups and downs. Their podcast Normalizing Non-Monogamy not only provides a learning experience, but some much needed comedic relief as well. With all the interviews they have done we thought it only right to flip the script and interview the masterminds themselves! So without further ado . . . 

normalizing non-monogamy podcast on swinging the lifestyle and polyamory

Q: First things first, how did the two of you meet? And how long have you been married?

Emma: We originally met in seventh grade where my family moved to the same town where Fin grew up. We were best friends in high school and started dating in college (although we secretly had crushes on each other in high school). We’ve been married seven years this summer.

Fin: In 7th grade Emma moved to the town where I lived. We met in advanced algebra (not to brag) and from that point on she was basically infatuated with me even though it took her a few years to realize it. Over the next 4-5 years we became best friends and ended up going to the same university for engineering and started dating part way through our first year. We got married a few years after we graduated and have been married seven years this summer.

Q: How did you start your non-monogamous journey, or how did you know it was right for you?

Emma & Fin: During our second year of university we both decided to study abroad. Even though we both chose Australia, early on we felt it was important to make decisions for ourselves and so we chose our schools independently. Luckily, we chose the same school which turned out to be amazing since we got to travel together.

Neither of us had a ton of dating or sexual experience outside of each other and one other relationship. We felt like that was something we should both be able to explore since we were so young, but neither of us really wanted to break up since we were happy together and loved having adventures together. Fin did some research and found that there was a [swinger, lifestyle or non monogamous] house party about an hour from where we lived and we decided to go. It was supposed to just be a meet and greet but it was basically an orgy between a ton of people who already knew each other. We hung out downstairs with the three other new couples and chatted. We walked around a bit to see what it was all about and had a little fun together but it was mostly an experience of just seeing what it [a swing party] was like.

Q: Would you consider yourselves Swingers? Or how do you best identify?

Emma: We identify as being in an open relationship or ethically non-monogamous. In practice, this mostly looks like traditional swinging for us at the moment, but we are open to other experiences as well. We are open to all kinds of relationship styles in the future and want to continue to meet and have amazing people be part of our lives.

Fin: We did for years because we didn’t really have a better way to describe what we were doing. A lot of people in the swinging world are afraid to use the word “poly” which isn’t the case for us, it just didn’t fit as a label on what we were doing. More recently we’ve decided a more fitting term is just to say we’re “open.” Basically, we’re open to whatever comes our way. We aren’t looking for anything specific other than awesome friends who are open-minded. If that turns into something more it’s fine with us but we haven’t set it as a goal.

Q: Are there any misconceptions about Swinging you want to clear up?

Emma: The majority of people we have met who are in a non-monogamous relationship are in it to enhance their relationship, not take away from it. They want to share these experiences with their partner and make their bond stronger while meeting and having experiences with other people. It sounds a little crazy but sharing your partner can make the connection between you two even deeper.

Fin: That all we do is have sex all day long with everyone we meet. It’s really only about half the day with 30% of the people. [This is a joke, people!]

Q: How has non-monogamy helped your marriage? Are there benefits you experience that you think you wouldn’t have if you were monogamous?

Emma: Being non-monogamous from very early on in our relationship has allowed us to communicate about everything from the beginning. Nothing is off the table and I believe this is a huge benefit to our relationship. We also have many amazing friends that I know we wouldn’t have if we were monogamous. We love meeting like-minded people and feel so comfortable with these friends.

Fin: It’s cliche but true… We can talk about everything and anything. It’s not always easy, but we can have conversations that a lot people can’t even fathom. We’ve also seen some wild and crazy shit so it’s kind of a fun joke between us when people we meet are like “I have a crazy story to tell you…” and then it’s really not crazy compared to some of the stuff we’ve seen. It’s always been this secret between us that we can laugh about to each other.

Q: We all know relationships are not always rainbows and butterflies, has there ever been a time where you thought non-monogamy was a mistake? how did you get through it?

Emma: I never thought non-monogamy was a mistake. There have been times in our lives that we have closed off our relationship and taken a break, mostly because something else is going on that was the priority. It has not always been easy, but both of us feel like our lives would not be complete if we were monogamous and neither of us wants that for the other person. So if we have to close off our relationship for a bit that’s ok, but we always circle back and figure out how to open it up again when the time is right.

Fin: I don’t think there has been a time where we thought it [swinging/ the open relationship] was a mistake. For us, it’s never been our entire life and so if life gets crazy we just put it on the backburner. We’ve gone months or years at a time without doing anything in the non-monogamy space. When life settles down, we ramp it back up. For us, it’s been important to keep it fluid and let it come and go as needed. We aren’t always on the same page in terms of interest level at any given time but that’s natural just like as in any aspect of life.

emma-fin-hiking

Emma (left) and Fin (right) prefer to remain anonymous.

Q: It’s amazing that the two of you have such a long history with each other through this journey, but do you have any advice for those who may be exploring non-monogamy on their own?

Emma: Be patient. Non-monogamy will not work if only one person in a couple wants to do it. It can take lots of conversations and education (books, podcasts, talking to like minded people, etc.) to be on the same page as your partner. Don’t be afraid to have those conversations and be patient.

Fin: I think there is still a lot of slut-shaming around people who are exploring non-monogamy. I think it’s probably even more prevalent if you’re doing it by yourself and people just assume your goal is to have as much sex as you can (which is a valid goal by the way). It’s important to remember there is an ethical way to do it and there are a lot of people who probably won’t get it, but as long as you’re doing it in a respectful way, there’s nothing wrong with it. On the flip-side, there are some amazingly supportive [swinger, poly and/or non-monogamous] communities out there and when you find them it can change your life. Don’t let it get you down if it takes a while to find your groove and don’t be afraid to change grooves and explore new ones.

Q: What inspired you to start the podcast – was there an ‘AHA’ moment?

Emma & Fin: There are too many reasons to list and this answer could get super long so we will keep it brief. We love helping people, meeting people, and hearing their life stories. We also knew that many of the things we learned over our 10+ years exploring non-monogamy came from conversations with other people. We’d pick up tidbits from everyone we met and we figured if we could share as many stories as possible that we could help expedite the learning process for others who are on the same journey. We’d also love to see non-monogamy become more mainstream. We realize it’s not for everyone but we would safely bet that there isn’t a single person who doesn’t have a friend or two who has explored it in some fashion, whether they know it or not. It’s far more common than people think and we’re on a mission to prove it. We also love destroying stereotypes and giving a voice to people who don’t have a platform. The more stories we can tell, the more people we can help!

Q: What is one of the most surprising or shocking things you’ve discovered since starting your podcast?

Emma: There are so many incredible people out there in non-monogamous relationships! We always knew this, but it has been reinforced as we have met and had conversations with people. We feel like we have a responsibility to get anyone’s story out there that wants to share it.

Fin: Probably people’s willingness and eagerness to share their stories. We hoped it would be the case when we started but we didn’t know for sure. Within a few weeks of starting the show we already had people reaching out to share their stories. It’s been amazing and we have met some incredible friends.

Q: You just recently released episode 61 – wow! How has the response been so far?

Emma & Fin: Meh. It’s been alright. 🙂 It’s really been one of the most amazing things we’ve ever done. The people who have reached out to help us or share their stories, whether it’s on the podcast or behind the scenes in an email, have been incredible. It’s rare when you have a vision and it goes better than you could have ever dreamed.

Q: We know it’s like asking you to choose between your children, but do you have a favorite interview or episode you’ve done?

Emma: All of them have been incredible, however, I distinctly remember that after we finished the interview with Christopher Smith (episode 48), I looked at Fin and said “I just want to shout this from the mountains”. We are both inspired by everyone we talk to and can’t wait to share the stories with as many people as we can. We feel like there is so much for everyone to learn by listening to all these stories from a relationship aspect in general, whether you’re monogamous or non-monogamous.

Fin: I do love them all and I don’t want to discourage anyone from reaching out. I will say that I love any story that helps destroy a stereotype or preconceived idea. Those are the ones that force people to stop and think for a second rather than just nodding along. We have a few where people have gotten into non-monogamy because of an affair. To me, it’s amazing when a couple can harness what most people consider a relationship ending offense and turn it into a positive.

Q: How do you balance marriage and a podcast together?

Emma: We do the podcast together and it has been an amazing journey. I do not feel like the podcast has taken anything away from our marriage, instead it has enhanced it. We’re learning how to work together on a big project that we both care a lot about. It’s been a fun adventure!

Fin: It has really made our relationship stronger. We get to sit down together a few times per week and have amazing conversations with open-minded people who open our minds further and push our boundaries…

Q: You have been together quite some time, what are some ways you keep the spark?

Emma: Adventure. We view life as one big adventure and non-monogamy is a part of it. We both have a deep love for each other but also sharing and having experiences with other people adds to our relationship and keeps us closer than I think we would be otherwise.

Fin: Push your partner outside of their comfort zone in all aspects of life. That’s where the growth and sparks happen.

Q:We have to ask, what do you wear when getting frisky? What are some of your favorite things to wear (or see another person wear) to spice it up?

Emma: My favorite thing to wear when getting frisky is sexy underwear – usually some sort of lacey boyshorts or thong which I know Fin likes. It’s also fun to get more dressed up  with additional lingerie to spice it up (some of my favorites are fishnet stockings and heels). On a guy I love seeing a sexy pair of boxer briefs and a form fitting T-shirt.

Fin: Definitely merino wool socks. I don’t like it when my feet are cold. Usually brown so they aren’t obnoxious. I’ll also usually wear a pair of nice boxer briefs to draw their eyes off my socks. What’s sexy to see a lady wear? For me, I am a fan of anything form fitting and probably solid-ish colors. I am a pretty boring person when it comes to these things but I like the person to be comfortable and feel sexy. I’m also not that picky if a woman decides she wants to be in her underwear around me, I usually don’t complain.

About Normalizing Non-Monogamy Podcast

Every week, Emma & Fin interview exciting and incredible people from all across the non-monogamy spectrum. They talk with people in the swinging and polyamorous communities who are straight, gay, bisexual, trans, and everywhere in between. Hear all the dirty secrets, salacious stories, and unique strategies from swingers to poly folks – it’s quite the learning experience! Whether you are just beginning to explore or are a seasoned vet their interviews are a valuable resource. So, tune into the Normalizing Non-monogamy Podcast for a laugh and maybe you’ll even learn something!

Want to share your story?

Emma & Fin are actively seeking non-monogamous people and couples to interview for their podcast. If you are a swinger, polyamorous, or in another other form of non-monogamous relationship we encourage you to share your story. You can contact Emma & Fin through their website here.

Learn more . . .

Care to stay in the loop as we continue this series of fun AMAs and sex-positive articles? And get access to insider deals and offers for luxurious lingerie gifts?  Sign up for our Knickergram newsletter . . .

Have questions for Emma or Fin?

If you are curious about swinging, non-monogamy, or opening up your own relationship – don’t be shy – ask away! We’ll get the answers from the awesome Emma & Fin. . .

More Love: Bringing Up Polyamory, Swinging & Opening Up Your Relationship

open marriage couple

A Guest Blog Post By Sex Coach Lex

So, you know a couple people who are swinging and into “the Lifestyle”. And you’ve heard about this thing called “polyamory” or “non-monogamy”. Maybe you’ve even done some digging to figure out what it is. Now after a little bit of soul searching, you’ve decided that it’s something you want to try. There’s just one thing. You’re not single, you’re in a relationship already. Broaching this subject can bring up a lot of feelings for the both of you. So how do you approach discussing your interest in non-monogamy with your partner?

Introducing the Difficult Conversation Formula

This formula was put together by Reid Mihalko and I use it often with my clients (or I will create a variation from it that applies to their specific situation). There are three parts to the difficult conversation formula you need to put together on your own before you make the approach.

1. What I’m trying to tell you is . . .

First fill in, “What I’m trying to tell you is…” In this case, you’re trying to share that you are interested in non-monogamy and would like to know how your partner feels about that, or if they are also interested in exploring that topic with you. Make sure to find what your intention truly is and put it in your own words. After all, they’re your partner, not mine.

2. What I’m afraid might happen . . .

Second, answer “what I’m afraid might happen if I tell you is…” There’s a reason, or likely several, why you have been holding back from having this conversation. Be honest. Take the time to be vulnerable. One of the cornerstones of committed relationships is being able to be vulnerable with one another.

3. What I’d like to have happen . . .

Finally, answer “What I’d like to have happen by saying this is…” Here is where we find hope and motivation. What’s the best-case scenario? On the most fundamental level all difficult conversations are about being seen, being understood or understanding one another, and growth. For you it may be that you would like your partner to see that this in no way negates your commitment to them, or that they may see this a way for you to both grow. Again, you are sharing your truth so make sure to put it in your words.

Putting it all together

Now for actually making the approach. Begin by asking your partner if they have the emotional bandwidth for a difficult conversation. If yes, proceed. If no, schedule some time to have that talk. Once you have the go ahead, begin by letting them know that there is something that you have been wanting to talk to them about. Then, use your responses to the second question to let them know why you’ve been afraid to talk about this. Follow that up with your response to the third question to let them know what you are hoping their response will be like. Finally let them know what you have been wanting to talk about.

Once you have finished, make sure to thank your partner for listening and ask if they have anything to share in response. 

Special Considerations for Non-Monogamy Intentions

For the sake of this article I have assumed that you aren’t interested in opening up for the wrong reasons. While there is no one right reason to engage in non-monogamy, there are several wrong reasons and I’d like to rule out one in particular.

I think the most common mistake may be thinking that opening up a relationship can fix problems that a relationship already has. Non-monogamy is not a salve for relationship troubles. According to Dr. Elizabeth Sheff, who has done multi-year long research studies on polyamory in families and relationships, while a few people may have saved their marriages with polyamory, it is extremely rare. Polyamory, and non-monogamy in general, has a tendency to exacerbate and bring out any troubles that already exist in relationships. It’s like clicking the fast-forward button on your relationship. You probably would have dealt with these issues 10 years from now, but instead you get to deal with them all in the first year of your relationship. Hurray!

Your Partner’s Reactions

If you have been researching this for a while, remember that your feelings about non-monogamy are not new and your knowledge about it is likely to be much greater than your partner’s. As a result, your partner’s reaction might be much stronger than you expected. That’s because for them, this is coming out of the blue. They may also have a lot of negative (or toxic) ideas about how relationships “ought” to be, and that if you want to explore something outside of your own relationship, there must be something wrong inside it. The most important thing is to assure them that this is not about them. Your interest in exploring this is about your own growth and not a response to them doing something wrong. Also, that it is not about something being wrong with the relationship.

Be prepared to hear some bad news. You might find out that your partner actually does have some problem with the relationship you are in, or that something you did has made them lose trust in you (Remember how I told you polyamory is like clicking fast-forward on your relationship troubles?). You wrote down your fears for a reason, and even the most well-crafted and well-delivered messages can be received in ways completely unrelated to your intentions. This isn’t exclusive to non-monogamy in any form. Any difficult conversation can be a test of your relationship.

What’s next? Don’t Rush

Let’s say that your conversation does go well, what’s next? Don’t rush things. You won’t be going on dates tomorrow. There is a lot more for both of you to learn and work through before actively engaging in non-monogamy. Depending on where you begin, it might be a couple of months until you are ready, or as much as a year before you are ready. If you are in this relationship for the long haul, then that time invested is a drop in the bucket. And even if you end up finding out non-monogamy isn’t right for you, the skills required for exploring diverse relationship structures are a huge boost to any relationship.

A Note On Terms: Non-Monogamy, Polyamory and Swinging

Various forms of non-monogamy have been discussed media lately. More specifically you probably heard about polyamory, swinging, or open relationships. While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging* (and there are countless other arrangements if you really like labels) are all different forms of non-monogamy they all have one thing in common.

All forms of non-monogamy (the umbrella term) change out our societal default idea of a romantic and sexual relationship being limited to only two people, for one where more than two people can be involved. Putting it that way may make it sound simple, but the impact of questioning something that a person has never even considered possible to question can be revolutionary. It is also destabilizing, which can be scary to navigate.

* Polyamory and swinging are particularly different as the communities that have formed around them have very different core values.

About Sex Coach Lex

sex coach lex

Coach Lex is the founder of SCL Coaching and Consulting, LLC. He is a WASC certified sex coach who specializes in sexual communication in order to create a world where people can speak about sex as comfortably as they speak about breakfast. His work includes individuals, couples, and the polyamorous community, as well as the LGBT and kink communities (GSRD groups). Lex facilitates groups, workshops, and works with clients worldwide.

Coach Lex publishes a weekly blog on his website sexcoachlex.com known as The Bad Sex Advice Blog, where he deconstructs bad sex advice and sex myths, explains what makes them bad, and what you can do instead.

Find Lex On
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexcoachlex

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SexCoachLex

Twitter: https://twitter.com/sexcoachlex

Website: www.SexCoachLex.com


Have a question about polyamory or swinging?

We know this may not be the easiest discussion to have with a partner, or anyone for that matter. Submit your question about polyamory, swinging or open relationships in the comments below. For privacy, feel free comment under an alias name.

Podcasts On The Swinging Lifestyle

The 23 Best Swinging Lifestyle Podcasts

For anyone exploring the swinging lifestyle, we have put together a list of podcasts created by people who are experts in “the Lifestyle”. Whether you just want to get your feet wet or take a deep dive,  there are hundreds of episodes on this list and at least one that is sure to satisfy your curiosities.

If you didn’t see our recent relationship terms primer, we recommend brushing up on the basic terms that you’ll likely hear a lot of throughout these podcasts.

Plug in your earbuds and hit play for some utterly entertaining talks on swinging, polyamory, non-monogamy, and the lifestyle . . .

The List: 23 Best Swing Lifestyle Podcasts

Average Swingers – J and Angie are just your Average Swingers, discussing their lifestyle adventures.

Bed Hoppers – A podcast all about the journey and adventures in the swinging lifestyle in the UK.

Bliss Bringers – A Sex, Swinging lifestyle & Kink Podcast.

Casual Swinger – Join Mickey & Mallory as they share their journey through “the lifestyle” and exploring the world of alternative relationships all while being normal humans with jobs, dogs & kids.

Life on the Swingset – Life on the Swingset the Podcast is a podcast covering a variety of topics from swinging to polyamory to ethical non-monogamy in a fun and entertaining way.

Loving without boundaries podcast

Loving without Boundaries – Hear interviews, lessons and insights on the subjects of polyamory and ethical non-monogamy. They seek to promote healthy relationships, tolerance and understanding – whether you are already living a life of ethical non-monogamy or are among the curious.

Multiamory – Conventional relationship advice is toxic and outdated. We offer new ideas and advice for multiple forms of love: everything from conscious monogamy to ethical polyamory and radical relationship anarchy

Nerds who Swing – A Swinger Lifestyle podcast hosted by the sexy Margo & Miller.

normalizing non-monogamy logo

Normalizing Non-Monogamy – Two 30 somethings, Emma and Fin,  exploring non-monogamy together for over a decade. Each week they interview people to hear their approach to non-monogamy, what it means to them, and how it has strengthened and shaped their lives. Out of Pittsburgh, PA. Read our full ask-me-anything interview on swinging, polyamory and more here . . .

Our naughty Escapades – Ben and Jen have been married for 26 years and in the lifestyle for about 8 years. At first, they just wanted to enhance their sex life but soon they discovered the lifestyle helped them grow stronger as a couple in other areas of life.

polyamory weekly podcast
Polyamory Weekly – Minx and her listeners discuss loving more and polyamory. In this community-driven show, each week Minx talks sex, relationships, communication, family, erotica, psychology, orgasms and anything else that comes up in the ins and outs of the daily polyamorous lifestyle.

Sapphic Swingers – Listen to the swinging adventures of a married lesbian couple

Sex on the Counter – Join the hosts  as they drink tasty brews, talk all things “lifestyle”, sex and marriage  with a few great laughs & stories along the way.

Sex Uninterrupted – Join the 30-something couple Taara & James as they tell you everything you wanted to know about the swinger lifestyle & Non-monogamy. Broadcasting from Alberta, Canada.

sex dr jess podcast list
Sex with Dr. Jess – Dr. Jess hosted PlayboyTV’s hit series Swing and her podcast touches on everything from healthy communication and the psychology of sex to orgies and opening up relationships. Co-hosted by her husband, Brandon Ware, the duo interview psychologists, comedians, therapists and porn stars — all in the name of providing science-based sex and relationship advice you can use tonight.

Sharing is caring – Kiwi and Cherie, a New Zealand and French couple living in London in an open relationship exploring the swinging lifestyle, sex positivity and ethical non-monogamy.

Spiritual Swingers – Meet Adam and Eve . . . the Spiritual Swingers.  An early 40’s couple, together since high school, navigating the swinging lifestyle and  exploring the intersection of Spirituality, Science, and Sexuality.Swinger Diaries PodcastSwinger Diaries – Penn and Paige are a mid-forties swinging couple living in the midwest. We have been in the swinging lifestyle since 2010 and host a podcast that seeks to inform, educate and expose people to the joys and benefits of swinging and to record a journal of a few of our sexy experiences.

Swinging Along – A married couple living a not so “normal” sex life full of kinkiness and adventure. Sharing their stories and answering your questions on all things sex and relationships.

Torrid Souls – Exploring the sexually social and adventurous swinging lifestyle as lovers and parents.

Two or More to Tango – Meet your normal next door neighbors, very happily married for a LONG time, who accidentally stumbled into the swinging lifestyle! They share their adventures as they explore the sometimes unpredictable lifestyle, sharing the ups and downs, and everything in between.

The Unicorn Report – The sexy adventures of a single bisexual woman in the lifestyle. Thank you Snuggly Dave for the write-in suggestion. (Single bi women are called “unicorns” as they are hard to find, i.e. rare mythical creatures.)

We Gotta Thing – A long time married couple chronicling their personal adventures and share sex positive discussions while they navigate their way through the swinging lifestyle.

Also, be sure to check out our list of the best sex-positive podcasts here . . .

About [ENCLOSED]

At [ENCLOSED] we are on a mission to help the gift-giver demonstrate his or her adoration for the woman they love. Serving 17,000+ customers in 19+ countries, [ENCLOSED] sends out thousands of lingerie gifts every month from its San Francisco headquarters. Sourcing lingerie from the finest lingerie designers world-wide, we help gift-givers express their love and desire with a truly romantic, memorable gift experience like no other.

Disclaimers & Such

We have not reviewed or listened to every episode of every podcast on this list and the views and opinions expressed on these shows do not necessarily reflect our own. When we say “best swinging lifestyle podcasts” we are really saying these are the biggest ones that we have found. The list is alphabetical, not ranked, to reflect this. All content is intended for adults 21+.

Suggest a Podcast

Do you think we’ve missed a great podcast? Send us your recommendations and links to the podcast(s) in the comments section below. For your privacy, you may use an alias name when commenting.

Love In All Its Forms: Poly, Swing, Kink and More

An Alternative Relationship Terms Primer

“Is [ENCLOSED] mostly men sending kinky gifts to their mistresses?”

submissive style lingerie The simple answer is . . . sometimes. But the more robust answer is, the diversity of Enclosed customers is wonderfully broad. The majority of our customers are straight men sending gifts to their wives or girlfriends, but as we’ve learned from our customers, there are many other manifestations of love. From the polyamorous to the kinksters, swingers to downright vanillas, many groups have embraced [ENCLOSED]’s message of sex-positive luxury lingerie gifting.

Sex Positive

We don’t claim to be experts on all the types of relationships we mention here. But we do celebrate love, romance and sex amongst consenting adults. Sexuality is part of the human experience and it’s our hope to create an environment that is non-judgmental, balanced, and open-minded. Therefore, in an effort to start a sex-positive conversation with and better serve our customers, we’ve boned-up(!) on the overlapping worlds of swing, poly and kink. Here’s our starting point; a work-in-progress primer.

Comments, Links & Kinks Welcome

We invite you to add your comments below . . .

Sex-Positive Relationship Terms & Definitions

To start any clear conversation, it’s helpful to clarify the terms.

24/7 – An agreement whereby there is consensual power exchange full time; 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Abundant Love – The concept that love is not finite therefore it is possible to love more than one person at the same time. As defined by polyamorous author, Franklin Veaux.

Alternative Sexuality – An umbrella term for non-traditional sexual orientation, non-monogamy, gender and sexual expression such as kink or BDSM.

BDSM – An abbreviation containing within it three unique acronyms: B&D which stands for Bondage & Discipline, D/s which stands for Dominance & submission, and S&M or Sadism and Masochism. Together, BDSM represents a full spectrum of sexual activities and relationship models. As explained by Stefani Goerlich, LMSW.

Bi-Curious – A man or woman who is interested in trying same-sex activities.

Bipoly – Refers to a person who is polyamorous and bisexual

Sexy lace-up Black Teddy GiftBisexual – Interested in both sexes. The terms “versatile” and “AC/DC” are also used in this same way.

Casual Sex – Sexual activity that takes places outside a romantic relationship and implies an absence of commitment, emotional attachment, or familiarity between sexual partners (i.e. The one-night stand).

CBT – Refers to cock and ball torture.

Closed Swinging – This is where partners swap, but have sexual intercourse in separate rooms.

Compersion – The opposite of jealousy. The act of having a good feeling when one’s partner enjoys sex/ desire with another partner. The term was coined by Kerista Commune.

Consensual Nonmonogamy – An umbrella term for polyamory, open relationships, swinging and other consensual non-monogamous relationships. See ethical nonmonogamy.

Cuckolding – This term can be used several different ways. Historically it referred to the husband of a wife who cheats, and often carried some fairly racist connotations. Now it can indicate a husband whose wife plays without him then comes home to tell him about it. It can also mean a husband who wants to or is forced to watch his wife play with others- sometimes while being told how much better the other man is at pleasing his wife than he is.

Daddy Dom/Mommy Dom – A Dominant whose dominance comes out through paternal/maternal expressions. Sometimes referred to as a “Gentle Dom/me.”

black lace blindfold giftDiscipline – These are disciplinary actions which arouse the sexual desires by controlling the behavior. Often involving rules, restrictions (of behavior or movement), and other limitations imposed by one partner on another; it can also include consequences up to and including physical punishment when these are not followed. As explained by Stefani Goerlich, LMSW.

Dominant – A person who exercises control and authority over their partner. Contrast with submissive.

DP – Stands for double penetration.

Edge Play – Any practice which challenges the limits or boundaries (emotionally, physically, and/or psychologically) of one or more of the participants. Can also refer to sexual activity involving actual sharp edges such as blades or sharp objects. From The Submissive Guide.

Ellis – A code name used to identify other swingers. Ellis stands for L.S. or Lifestyle. Thus, “Are you a friend of Ellis?” can be used to identify a member of the lifestyle without compromising confidentiality.

Enthusiastic Consent – All parties involved don’t just say yes to consent but say, “hell yes” i.e. with enthusiasm.

Ethical- Polyamory or Ethical Non-Monogamy – A form of non-monogamy in which every person involved understands and has agreed to non-monogamy. As explained by Sex Educator, Angel Kalafatis.

Figging – Placing a piece of raw, peeled ginger into someone’s anus and/or vagina. This creates a warm, burning sensation that some people find erotic and/ or painful. Also called gingering.

Generous – One code used to indicate when someone is willing to exchange money for sex.

Hanky Code – A traditional form of signaling what your sexual preferences and interests are, typically used among gay men. See the meaning of all the different color codes here.

Hard Swap or full swap – A situation in which two or more couples are free to enjoy nearly all types of sexual activities with other couples, including penetrative sex. From (a source we love), Kinkly.

Hard Swing – A swing party where sexual interaction is assumed and expected.

Impact Play – Refers to hitting or spanking a partner’s body, either with the hand or with an implement such as wooden spoon, crop, or flogger.

feather handcuffs sexy accessoryKink – A broad umbrella term for people with a fetish or fetishes that are perceived as abnormal to the public. Dr. Liz Powell, a kink-friendly sex therapist says, “Kink is used as a larger term to indicate anything that is not sort of run of the mill interaction,” This can include a huge range of practices from biting, bondage, BDSM, spanking, cuckolding. The kink communities have some overlap with, but are not synonymous with, polyamory.

Little Girl/Boy – A submissive whose expression takes the form of childlike tropes such as pastel colors, toys, and role playing a younger persona. This practice is entirely distinct from and has nothing to do with the sexualization of children. It focuses on submission through embracing innocence.

Love outside the box – Refers to sex positivism and polyamory or “relationships that go beyond the norm in some way, in gender, number, expression, or style.” By Dawn Davidson, of Love Outside The Box.

Masochist – Someone who derives sexual pleasure out of receiving pain, intense sensation, or emotional humiliation. Note, not all dominants identify as sadists, and not all submissive identify as masochists.

Mistress – Typically known as an extramarital lover (female), but also defined as a woman in a position of authority or control. A female Dominant may be referred to as “Mistress” by her submissive.

Monogamish – A term coined by Dan Savage to mean “not totally monogamous relationship”. Monogamish relationships assume that parties have mutual consent as opposed to non-consent which would be infidelity.

Monogamy – The state or practice of having only one sexual partner at a time.

Moresomes – A sexual encounter with more than three people.

purple sexy crotchless harness gift setNew Paradigm Relating – “A way of loving, or a set of parameters for doing relationships” where “Love is treated as a free gift rather than as a claim.” From Vonn New’s article “New Paradigm Relationships.”  Does not inherently correlate with polyamory but there is overlap.

New Relationship Energy or NRE – The passionate spark or excited state of mind that one feels from a new relationship typically involving sexual feelings and excitement. Usually lasts a few weeks to a few months after entering into the relationship.

Nonconsensual Non-Monogamy – In simple terms, cheating or adultery.

Omnisexual – To address hostility to people who self-identify as bisexual, the term omnisexual has started to become popular as a synonym for bisexual but without the negative connotations of the word. From More Than Two.

One Penis Policy – Whereby the man is allowed to have many sexual female partners, but the women may not have sex with other men.

One Vagina Policy – The One Penis Policy in reverse. Whereby the woman is allowed to have many sexual male partners, but the man may not have sex with other women.

Open Relationship or Open Marriage – An agreement that each partner can have sex with other people, under various conditions and with specific limitations. According to sex therapist, Jessa Zimmerman.

Open Swinging – This kind of swinging allows partners to swap and have sexual intercourse in the same room, or bed.

Orgasm Control – A technique where you build yourself (or your partner) up to the point of orgasm without climaxing, then you stop. Sometimes also called ‘edging’ but not the same as ‘edge play’ (see definition above). From The ABCs of Kink.

Orgasm Denial – A form of Discipline and Dominance in which the receiving partner is not allowed to climax during sexual activity. This restriction may last for one encounter, be time limited (no orgasms for one week) or in some cases be a permanent relationship rule.

Orgy – A party which involves unrestrained indulgence, especially in sexual activity.

clandestine sexy adult lingerieParty Clothes/ Party Clothing – Clothing intended to be worn during events such as swing parties, public dungeons, or some private poly meet-ups. This often includes robes, lingerie, or other clothing that is likely conducive to sex and erotic engagements. (And yes, we think [ENCLOSED] clandestine ultra-sexy offerings, as well as more modest lingerie and accessories, would be perfect for such a fête.)

Polyamory – Engaging in emotionally intimate relationships among multiple people that can also be sexual and/or romantic partners. Also called an open relationship or a non-monogamous relationship.

Polyandry – One woman married to multiple husbands.

Polycule – A romantic network made up of a polyamorous person’s lovers and partners. It can include several or many people. The term is a portmanteau of “polyamory” and “molecule”.

Polyfidelity – A polyamorous relationship where only in-group sex is allowed unless the group approves other additions. The term was coined by Kerista Commune,  whose adherents are also considered to author the term “compersion”.

Polygamy – One (typically heterosexual) man is married to multiple wives.

RACK – Stands for “risk aware consensual kink. While not eliminating all risks, the persons involved decide how to address and manage the risks involved.

Sadist – Someone who consensually derives sexual pleasure out of inflicting intense physical sensation, up to and including pain and/or psychological or emotional distress on their partner.

naughty teacher ruler roleplaySafe Word – A prearranged word serving as an unambiguous signal to end an activity, such as between a dominant and submissive sexual couple.

Sex Positive – A movement and mindset focusing on promoting and embracing sexuality, rather than shame, and avoiding ethical or moral judgments around sexuality. The terms and concept of sex-positive are generally attributed to Wilhelm Reich who also coined the phrase “the sexual revolution.”

Soft Swap – Soft swapping can range from having sex in the same room with other people, to fondling and for some couples, even oral sex with one or more people outside the couple. Once there is penetration beyond the partner, it’s considered a “full swap”. From Life On The Swing Set.

Soft Swing – Couples who only have intercourse with their own partner, but do so in the presence of others. Can also be two couples who agree to watch each other during sexual activities.

Submissive – Person who derives satisfaction by giving up control of certain aspects of their lives, behavior or bodies to a Dominant partner. From Rekink.

Sugar Baby – A person, typically younger, who enters into an agreement with a Sugar Daddy/Mama to be financial supported in exchange for sexual and emotional affection.

Sugar Daddy / Mama – A well-to-do, usually older, person who supports or spends lavishly on a typically younger mistress, girlfriend, or boyfriend.

Swingers / Swinging / “The Lifestyle” – A form of open relationship where a committed couple engages in consensual sex with other couples, singles, or groups. The swinger community often refers to itself as “The Lifestyle.”

light bdsm lace handcuffs pantiesSwitch – Someone who switches between Dominant and submissive roles.

Throuples – Couples who invite a third party into their relationship.

Threesome – Three people in a sexual encounter.

Triad – Three people in an ongoing relationship of emotional and sexual involvement. Not the same as a threesome.

Unicorn – A single, generally bi-sexual female that participates in the lifestyle. Referred to as “unicorns” because they are so rare.

Thank You

Sincere thanks to Stefani Goerlich, LMSW, of Bound Together Counseling, for reviewing this piece and giving valuable input. Bound Together Counseling offers client-centered, empowerment focused, affirming and inclusive counseling services from a sex-positive, feminist perspective.

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Sex Positive Comments Most Welcome . . .

Don’t be shy – we encourage you to join the conversation and provide advice or ask questions in the comments below. There is more than one interpretation of many of these terms. Tell us what works for you. What definitions do you use?

You are welcome comment under an alias name or provide your full name and links to resources and information you think might be helpful to this ongoing discussion.

best galentines gift idea

Galetines Gift Ideas from Women Owned Businesses

Galentines Gift Ideas from Women Owned Businesses

Looking for the best Galentines gift ideas for your Galentine’s party or gal? [ENCLOSED] put together not only the best Galentines gift ideas, but every one is a woman-owned business.

Support Women-Owned Businesses This Galentines Day

[ENCLOSED] is a woman owned business, and we love nothing more than to support other women in business. Wow your friends and support other women in business with these awesome Galentines gift ideas – it’s a win-win for women!

Do you know of an awesome women-owned business that has the best Galentines gifts ever? Share your suggestions in the comments at the bottom of this page . . .

1. A Galentines gift idea for the vintage lover

Lulu Frost is a jewelry brand founded in New York City by designer and CFDA member Lisa Salzer. The Lulu Frost aesthetic represents an intersection of tradition and modernity. Fun side note, our founder Antonia Townsend met Lisa while dating her brother! Galentines tip: check out their vintage charms section – it has something beautiful and unique for any gal. Galentine’s gifts run from $30 to over $1,500.

lulu frost galentines gift idea

2. A Galentines gift for the girl who has it all

As we always say here at [ENCLOSED], Friends don’t let friends wear ugly knickers! Empower your gals with lingerie that will make them feel confident, loved, and of course – sexy as hell! Learn more about the best Galentine’s gift ever here. Galentine’s gifts run from $50 to over $1,300 but you can access a special offer to buy a one time Galentine gift for your besties here . . .

best galentines gift of lingerie

3. A Galentines gift idea for goddess-like skin

Violets Are Blue, is an award-winning skincare line created by Cynthia Besteman a breast cancer survivor. These products are not only natural and safe for the body as well as the environment, but also contributes to skincare for cancer patients. Suggested by Tracy Peterson, we love a Galentines gift idea that gives back. Gifts run $10 to $30, or you could get a full $200 set to share at your Galentine’s Day party.

violets are blue galentines gift idea

4. A Galentines gift idea for the rugged gal

Founded by Tina Galle, (and suggested by the awesome lady entrepreneur Heidi Bloedel Moon) RuggedWrist makes Handmade accessories for hounds and their humans. These accessories have a proven quality and are handmade in the USA. Gifts for gals start at $26 while the bitches (literally, as in canine) have items up to $99.

ruggedwrist galentines gift idea

5. A Galentines gift idea for the virtuoso

Suggested by Manuella Hancock, VirtuArte was created by Deborah Myers, who is passionate about doing things to improve the quality of life for woman and children in developing countries. She establishes personal relationships with artisans all over the globe to bring you one-of-a-kind handmade works of art with prices from about $30 to $300.

virtu arte galentines gift idea

6. A Galentines gift idea for the lounging mermaid

Founded by Hattie Grace Elliot, Blankie Tails creates super soft and comfortable blankets in the shape of mermaid tails, fit for adults and children. Bring out her inner child with this Galentines Day gift. If a mermaid sleeping bag doesn’t scream “best Galentines gift idea ever” we don’t know what does! The one pictured here is $39.95. Can you say Galentine’s party sleepover?

blankie tails galentines gift idea

7. A Galentines gift of inspiring words

Adriana Botti started Little Words in college as a way to inspire and uplift her sorority sisters. Little Words are crystal or beaded bracelets each featuring a thoughtful word. It’s recommended that your gal wear the word as long as she needs it and then pass it along to another gal who might need it more. Each bracelet has a trackable code each wearer can enter online, and you can track where your bracelet travels! Bracelets are only about $12, so you can buy one for each Galentine party gal.

little words galentines gift idea

8. A Galentines gift idea for period cramps

Whoopi & Maya created by Whoopi Goldberg & Maya Elisabeth, offers a cannabis infused body balm specifically for menstrual relief. Their signature blend of essential oils makes this salve both discreet and intoxicatingly enjoyable. Give the gift of a pain free period with this Galentines gift idea. (Only available in CA and CO). Prices vary depending where you buy but is typically around $20-30.

whoopi maya galentines gift idea

9. A Galentines gift idea for the nap queen

Created by Michelle Fishberg and Heather Rebuelta after they discovered their shared sleep struggles, and enthusiasm for pillows – Slumbr provides the comfiest high-quality pillows that offer long-lasting support personal to your specific sleep style. The pillow recommended for our personal sleeping style was $225, but yours may be more or less. (But who can put a price on a gal sleeping, right?)

slumbr galentines gift idea

10. A Galentines gift for the bookworm

The ‘Unwifeable’ memoir by Mandy Stadtmiller is a true New York fairy tale brought to life—Sex and the City on acid. Perfect for when you’re looking to become unstuck, you’ll all soon see why Unwifeable is one of the best reviewed, most beloved memoirs of the year. $27.

unwifeable galentines gift idea

11. A Galentines gift to pamper your gals

Prete is a blowout service created by serial entrepreneur Nina Ojeda. They partner with the best salons in each city to get you blowout appointments whenever you want them – just download and book through their mobile app. You can’t go wrong with the gift of a good hair day! Blowouts start at $38.

Hairdryer prete galentines idea

12. A Galentines gift for fantasy land

TuTu Lou, created by Louise Overman (our founder’s beloved cousin) who produces hand-made, over-the-top custom tutu’s that fulfill any fantasy, dreams to be, holiday’s to bedazzle, show’s to steal, events to shine in, occasions that you are the one remembered rather than it or just because it’s Tuesday and you are ready to strut! Prices vary as each tutu is custom to your needs.

tutu lou galentines gift idea

13. A Galentines gift for the hands-on gal

Stephanie Shipman is an experienced woodworker who started a women-only woodshop series called “…And I Built it with my Vagina!!!” While it is not always the case, women often feel intimidated when it comes to building things in a commonly male-driven environment. Ranging from shop orientations to more advanced projects, she provides a safe, fun environment for women and female-identifying individuals to learn skills and gain confidence. Workshops only available from their San Leandro, CA shop. Rates vary.

woodshop galentines gift idea

14. A Galentines gift for the conscious gal

Suggested by lingerie entrepreneur, Stephanie Bodnar owner of Evgenia lingerie, Black Mountain Beauty was developed by Marnie Jackson with a mission of creating a zero-waste beauty line. After spending many weekends picking up plastic garbage on local ocean beaches, she wanted to make a change by reducing plastic use. She creates simple, organic, cruelty-free beauty products in biodegradable or refillable packaging. Marnie proves that living a sustainable lifestyle doesn’t have to break the bank with items ranging $4.50 to $30. Be sure to check out her special Valentines gift set for an even sweeter deal.

black mountain beauty galentines gift idea

15. A Galentines gift to make a fashion statement

Gift Wraps, created by business ‘besties’ Kenya Adjekum Bradshaw and Rochelle Griffin, offers beautifully bold head wraps using exotic fabrics from across the globe, as well as extraordinary, handmade jewelry and accessories. This Galentines gift is anything but boring! Head wraps are $24-$28.

gift wraps head wrap galentines gift idea

16. A Galentines gift for the purse lover

Created by Karin Chriss and Andrea Stieff, Bosom Buddy Bags is a woman owned and operated handbag company specializing in custom crafted and designed handbags. Make a gal feel special with her own custom made, one-of-a-kind handbag. Custom gags range from $135 to $250.

bosom bags galentines gift idea

17. A Galentines gift for the balanced babe

Suggested by filmmaker extraordinaire, Chemere Williams (AKA Exoticface Mamamia), creator of One2Four Web Series – Komari Bath & Body is created by Yolanda Berry offering handmade aromatherapy-based soaps and natural skin care products. She firmly believes in holistic healing, and that you can get through anything if your mind, body, and spirit are balanced. Gifts range from $5 to $28.

komari galentines gift idea

18. A Galentines gift for the mischievous ones

Created by Stacey Fischer, Lusty Letter is a positively naughty line of greeting cards that will have your gals gasping. Upon first glance, Lusty Letter cards are nice, friendly, and respectable; but upon closer inspection, they reveal a surprisingly naughty message. Cards are $5-$7, the laughter is priceless.

lusty letter galentines gift idea

19. A Galentines gift for the senses

Jewel Zimmer has a background as a fine-dining pastry chef and is a certified sommelier, so she knows a little something about the finer things in life. Her company, Juna, is a sophisticated line of cannabis and hemp oils that can be consumed to awaken pleasure physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Their HEMP drops are available online and will not cause inebriation or inhibit functioning, so you can feel confident in going about your routine. $75.

juna galentines gift idea

20. A Galentines gift that’s too cool for school

Our founder, Antonia, saw this beyond-cool sweatshirt in yoga and had to know the origin. The source of this wit is 17 year-old Avery Van Natta, a self-taught designer who is in the process of launching her own brand. Our uniform violations never looked this cool. And yes, Avery does wear a uniform to school. $25.

uniform violation best galentines gift idea

21. A Galentines gift for the traveler

Suggested by Michele Lee,these eye-catching luggage covers by Yvette Crocker are sure to turn heads in any airport, not to mention save you time spotting your luggage at the turnstile. Yvette is a self-taught visual artist, illustrator, and jewelry designer. Her online shop offers an array of products featuring her signature fashion illustrations – she’s also taking on clients for custom work! A range of items from $40 to $150.

luggage cover galentines gift idea

Disclaimer: While we have not tried or tested all of these products or services, this post is not sponsored by any of the companies listed.

Like what you see?

This article was brought to you by the Knicker Ladies at [ENCLOSED], an upscale lingerie subscription club that delivers monthly gifts of extraordinary lingerie and knickers. Experience more of [ENCLOSED] by subscribing to our Knickergram newsletter and unlocking members-only promotions and offers. 

galentines gift ideas share suggest your idea

Suggest Your Own Women-Owned Galentines Gift Ideas

Do you know of an awesome women-owned business that would make a great Galentines gift? Comment below with the name of the company, it’s URL and why it would be a great woman-owned Galentines Gift idea and we just might add them to our list.

Podcasts and Enclosed Lingerie Subscription Club

[ENCLOSED] Lingerie Subscription Club and Your Favorite Podcast

Perhaps you’ve heard about [ENCLOSED] while listening to a recent podcast? Perhaps you even heard mention of a coupon code for [ENCLOSED] gifts? Perhaps you just want to know about a new podcast to download. Well, here is a list of some of the podcasts we adore . . .

The Irish Whip –  Independent pro wrestling coverage with a twist hosted by Josh “Yeti” Richards.

SWISH! –  All about NBA basketball with Darnell Jones.

Total Soccer Show –  The show is focused on analyzing soccer and explaining how and why things happen on and off the field with a major focus on US Men’s National Team, as well as the Champions League, the Premier League, Major League Soccer and plenty more.

Landry Football Podcast – The Landry Football Podcast is a weekly look at the NFL and College game, where the veteran coach and scout Chris Landry offers his unique insights into players, coaches, teams and schemes as he breaks down the film and lets you on the inside of what is going on in the game.

Wide Men Can’t Jump – A unique NBA experience from two life long fans who create entertainment and information for the casual and die hard fans.

SONTSports: A Daily Debate About Sports –  Daily sports content. Good content.

The Zone Coverage Football Machine Podcast – The Andy Luke & Arif Football Machine is a weekly conversation between two cerebral football minds…. and Andy Carlson. And an awesome tagline, “Without professional sports, the Twin Cities would be just a Cold Omaha.”

The Sports Thoughts Podcast – Listen to good friends, former college roommates, and professional sports bettors Jerry and Kieran (Berryhorse) as they share their views on sports and gambling.

Cubs Related Podcast – Cubs Related is a Chicago Cubs podcast.

Arsenal Vision Post Match Podcast – The Arsenal Vision Post Match Podcast is a labor of love created by people from all over the world united in support for Arsenal Football Club. Sometimes funny, sometimes serious, occasionally ribald and hopefully always enjoyable.

Turning This Car Around – Turning This Car Around is a podcast about parenthood from three dads, Lex Friedman, John Moltz and Jon Armstrong.

3 People Like This – An improvisational comedy series rated as one of the best comedy podcasts on iTunes. Growing up in Brooklyn no one is sheltered, nothing is sugar-coated, and life’s extremes are the norm.

Locked On Warriors – Drew Shiller and Grant Liffman bring Warriors fans inside their team and the NBA with the daily podcast Locked on Warriors part of the Locked on Podcast Network

Also, be sure to check out our list of the best sex-positive podcasts here . . .

About [ENCLOSED]

At [ENCLOSED] we are on a mission to help the gift-giver demonstrate his or her adoration for the woman they love. Serving 17,000+ customers in 19+ countries, [ENCLOSED] sends out thousands of lingerie gifts every month from its San Francisco headquarters. Sourcing lingerie from the finest lingerie designers world-wide, we help gift-givers express their love and desire with a truly romantic, memorable gift experience like no other.

Suggest a Podcast

Do you think we’ve missed a great podcast? Comment here . . .

Lingerie News – Launch Of New Body Lingerie Subscription Service

[ENCLOSED], the World’s Finest Lingerie Subscription Service Launches New Premium Body Lingerie Offerings

San Francisco, CA. For immediate release on October 2, 2018. [ENCLOSED] is launching a new line of lingerie gift offerings for couples designed with the romantic gift-giver in mind. Going beyond the monthly delivery of knickers, this new service rolling out October 6, 2018 allows a person to surprise his or her love with a different lingerie piece every month. For instance, she might get a dusty pink lace teddy one month, then a black silk robe the next.

The Only Gift Service Specifically Designed For The Gift Giver

While there are dozens of companies that deliver panties monthly, [ENCLOSED] was and is the only lingerie gift service designed specifically for the person searching for a romantic, luxury gift for his/her love. [ENCLOSED] is committed to innovating the subscription industry’s business model by hand selecting each piece for the recipient rather than relying on a impersonal algorithm.

Customer Demand & Feedback Inspires New Lingerie Offerings

For two years now, [ENCLOSED] has been tapping it’s tens of thousands of customers, collecting feedback and product testing. The largely straight male customer base has been asking “the knicker ladies” for gift options that expand beyond the luxury panty range. Listening to that feedback, [ENCLOSED] will be offering multi-month lingerie subscriptions in addition to its pre-existing knicker subscriptions. As [ENCLOSED] gifts are ultimately about love, the new offerings are called the “Lingerie Love”, with products that include a variety of assorted bodywear ranging from bralette sets, nighties, teddies, rompers, robes, sleepwear, to ultra-sexy clandestine lingerie.

Tapping An Under-Served Market

[ENCLOSED] is not only responding to their customers, but filling a niche in the current lingerie market. Lingerie subscriptions will be priced from $130 to $1,300, reflecting the highest quality of concierge service and luxury designer lingerie. These prices enable [ENCLOSED] to capture the under-serviced upper-end market just below Agent Provocateur, yet considerably above the usual boutique or department store offerings.

New Offerings: Beta and Future Pricing

The new offerings launch October 6, but until then customers can access the beta products at the lower price-points.
new lingerie pricing

Deepening Opportunities For Love & Connection

“Since launching [ENCLOSED] in 2014, we have remained committed to our mission of inspiring love and connection through monthly couple’s gifts” says owner and founder Antonia Townsend. “We don’t just sell lingerie. Our mission is based on celebrating human connection and inspiring intimacy on a deeper level. Our service enables the gift-giver to demonstrate his adoration for the woman he loves, showing her just how beautiful she is in his eyes. It’s deeply moving to see the impact that the simple gesture of giving the dark purple [ENCLOSED] box can have” says Townsend.

Press Contact

Carina Pedersen
Enclosed, LLC
Carina@theenclosed.com
800.653.2970

About [ENCLOSED]

At [ENCLOSED] we are on a mission to help the gift-giver demonstrate his or her adoration for the woman they love. Serving 17,000+ customers in 19+ countries, [ENCLOSED] sends out thousands of lingerie gifts every month from its San Francisco headquarters. Sourcing lingerie from the finest designers world-wide, we help gift-givers express their love and desire with a truly romantic, memorable gift experience like no other.